Traveling alone is invigorating.
I adore the fast-pace, free nature of traveling solo and that giddy excitement and nervous energy of being in a new place.
I have 2 week-long solo trips coming up for some freelance work I'm doing. Here's to people wanting to pay me to travel! That is sooo the energy I'm trying to manifest.
For the first trip, I'm going to be in a different city almost every day. I've never traveled like that before, so I'm curious to see how I do. I have to imagine that that kind of go-go will wear me out. Especially since I'm hoping to see at least something from each place (outside of my work responsibilities) before moving on to the next. As I prep for new adventures, I thought this would be the perfect time to have a look back at some of my previous solo trips and spill all the details about what traveling alone is really like.
My first solo trip
My first solo trip was to Amsterdam when I was eighteen years old.
It's been several years since my first solo trip which took me to Amsterdam. I had lived abroad in Thailand the year prior, but that was through an exchange program where I was staying with a host family. I was currently living abroad in Paris by myself, yet I had the safety net of new friends and university staff if something were to go wrong.
So Amsterdam was my first solo getaway, in which I was completely and totally on my own in a new city. I was a freshman in college and after being drawn to the winding canals, rusty brick buildings, and bike paths for years, I decided it was finally time to visit the Netherlands.
I took an overnight bus from Paris to Amsterdam. It was a long, unglamorous ride, but mostly I was thrilled that my travel plan was working. I was still alive! Not that my life was ever really in question, but my little successes continued to solidify my confidence that I could figure out how to be okay anywhere in the world.
Confidence
Each day I felt more confident as I navigated my way through Amsterdam alone. I didn't do anything to crazy. I stayed within the city center and visited mostly museums and bookshops. But that's the thing about traveling alone. Each time you do it, you get more confident. After a successful long weekend in Amsterdam, the next year I took myself to Istanbul (which in my mind was a step up in adventure).
Asking random strangers to take your photo is all part of the solo travel experience.
Inside Istanbul's Blue Mosque.
Self-reliance wasn't a new skill for me, but if it's something you're continuing to working on, solo travel will whip you into shape with lightning speed. The good news is that you'll come out of your trip feeling self-assured and more comfortable with yourself. That confidence will radiate into all aspects of your life. Traveling alone can be centering in that sense.
You make quick decisions
Taking yourself on a trip means there's no one else's opinion you need to consider. That's a rare luxury. Want to change your plans for the afternoon and go do something else? You can! Want to stay three weeks longer in a tiny middle-of-nowhere town you found by accident? Have fun!
You don't need to consult anyone else or get permission. You'll learn to make snap decisions and then go act on them! It's so freeing. There's no waiting around, and absolutely zero compromise.
It's not as lonely as you might think
Do I get lonely when I travel by myself? No, well, at least not yet. I really enjoy my own company, and find a great sense of peace in being alone.
Of course, results may vary on that one. You can't outrun your bad thoughts by traveling, and you'll be forced to confront them. The sooner the better.
As for meeting friends, it all depends on the type of traveler you are. I often accidentally meet new friends when I'm alone. People just come up and talk to me. They have my whole life. Grocery stores, cafes, parks, the middle of the street...
Still, actively seeking out friends when I travel has never been a priority for me. It just sort of happens. However, if you are not a person magnet (it's a blessing and a curse) and hate hostels like me... it can be challenging to meet a real friend.
My advice? Eat in communal spaces. Find someone to chat with at your hotel's breakfast buffet, for example. From my experience, you'll rarely meet friends at bars and clubs. Everyone else is too scared to do those things alone, so they've already brought along their 12 best girl friends and probably aren't looking to meet more.
Dining alone
A young Meredith at The Pancake Bakery, getting a little too ambitious with her pancake syrup.
The final product!
Once you start solo traveling, taking yourself out for dinner will become less awkward.
There have been a few times where I've been hidden away at a corner table by the wait staff because I was dining alone. As if that would somehow taint the image of the restaurant? Those places tend to be overly image-conscious anyway. Like when they put those big chatty groups in the front by the windows as if they would attract people to the venue, not deter?
But usually a table for one isn't an issue.
Before my first ever solo trip to Amsterdam, I watched a YouTube video about The Pancake Bakery - a historical and famous pancake venue in the heart of the city.
When I arrived, the place was so packed that I ended up being seated with another guy who was also by himself. Turns out we had watched the same video about Amsterdam and that's how we both found the pancake place. We ended up having a really great time, and I ate more pancake and ice cream than I thought possible.
Even though eating out alone (particularly in a nice restaurant) can be uncomfortable at first, it's 100% worth doing. You'll get better at it, and it could be a way to meet new people!
You learn your values
One of the side effects of spending so much time alone is becoming more attuned to your values. Odds are you'll be put in situations that you never knew crossed a boundary for you. Or perhaps you miss your family more than you anticipated.
The first time I was abroad for an extended period of time was in Thailand. When I was there, I realized just how much I valued open-mindedness. The other students that were with me on exchange were the closest to "my kind of people" that I'd ever met.
Same goes for meeting friends at my Thai school. The most outgoing, curious, and open-minded people became my friends. They didn't pre-judge me based on American stereotypes. In fact, my best friend came up and introduced themselves when I was eating alone in the canteen on my first day. They were open-minded and wanted to take a chance on someone new. I try to channel some of that bravery and wonder into my own life.
It can be exhausting
Depending on just how new or out of your comfort zone your destination is, it can be a LOT to pull a trip plan together all by yourself.
There's not going to be anyone else with you if something goes wrong. Reality is, I prepare way more for a solo trip than I do for a trip with friends.
If I'm on a trip with a bunch of friends I have a more "we'll figure it out when we get there" attitude. I mean, really, what's the worst that can happen? If we end up lost in the middle of nowhere with no food or water, then we're lost in the middle of nowhere with no food or water together. It takes the fear out of it somehow.
But for safety and peace of mind, I'm much more on the ball if I'm alone. It's not the time to get plastered. I am aware of my surroundings and less likely to wander too far off into the unknown without knowing how to get back to civilization.
With all its challenges, solo travel is one of the most rewarding experiences you can have. Give yourself permission to escape the mindset of needing to gather your friends every time you want to do something fun.
I love inviting my friends along for adventures, but there's a difference between actually wanting to plan a girls trip and needing to plan a girls trip because you "can't" go alone. You don't need anyone else to travel the world!
I'm not sure if it's the pandemic or perhaps remote work that seems to have caused a recent uptick in solo travel. Either way, I'm excited about more people taking the leap.
Just remember that as much as you fantasize or prepare, there's no way to understand the exhilarating and empowering feeling of traveling alone until you do it. So start booking your tickets!
2 Comments
I connected so much with what you have written. As someone who also loves solo travel, I loved how you describe the experience.
Often times, when we go on group trips, we tend to rely on the comings and goings of the group, having to adapt and accommodate. Don’t get me wrong, I love traveling with friends, but there is something about the solo trip that will forever pull at my heart strings. I think it has to do with the rhythm. More specifically my own rhythm. I can take the time i need where and when you need. I’m an explorer on an expedition! What I say goes!
When it comes to eating alone, I have some tips for shy introverts. Bring an activity to keep you grounded. For example, I can often feel overwhelmed by my surroundings, essentially when in a new environment. It can be anxiety inducing. To keep me tethered, I often bring a sketchbook, notebook, book, or even some knitting. Each one elicits a different response from by-passers. If you want to meet people, the sketchbook or knitting is your best bet! People are often curious about what you are making. Try sketching your surrounding. It can be a good momento of your trip. If you enjoy being introverted, I suggest the book or notebook approach. This usually tells people you are busy, and not ready to chat. Sometimes people won’t get the clue, but then, you have the opportunity to make a friend in a new place. I often bring a notebook, and try and write down some things that will remind me of my trip.
Though solo travel can be a daunting challenge, it can also be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life. It is a chance to learn about not only the people and places you are visiting, but also yourself. It can boost your confidence, gain maturity, and expand your point of view. All in all, go TRAVEL! It’s not something you will regret.
All so true! Loved this comment. I completely agree that being in a new space with new people can be pretty daunting. Bringing something to do with your hands that might invoke a comment or question from a passerby is a great idea! Such a pressure-free way to start up a conversation. Good luck with your next adventure!!